Age is Just a Number (Sometimes a Big Number)

Here we go again. First thing on a Monday morning, I get a notice of a new post on Boomer Cafe. It’s called How Old Are You? One Baby Boomer Says It Really Does Not Matter. It’s written by a guy named Stew.

Yet another baby boomer yelling about how “you are only as old as you feel” and “age is just a number”. Bah.

Stew says:

As a person who is “older” (okay, I have trouble with that word), I have learned a few things about aging … mainly, I don’t understand what everyone is talking about. I don’t know how old I am unless I calculate it. When asked, all I know is that I am as old as I am feeling that day – be it 26 or 42 or maybe 31. And that is what I tell people.

Well, Stew, I have learned a few things about aging too. And here’s what I have learned.

  • It takes me longer to do things than it used to.
  • I am now afraid of slipping on ice, when I used to play on it.
  • I now have to read on a Kindle so I can make the text real big.
  • I now have aches and pains in places I never suspected would hurt.
  • I now go places and look around and think “everyone here is younger than me”.

The above is just a sampling. There is so much more. So do I feel 26 or 42 or 31 on certain days? Maybe if my mirrors came with PhotoShop installed, I would feel that way. But no, Stew, not really.

Stew likes to skydive. Doesn’t that just figure? People who blah-blahther on about how they don’t look at calendars except for when they have a dentist appointment always skydive. What is the point of it? Why would anyone even consider skydiving for one minute? Don’t you have enough respect for life to think, but wait, what if that little pull cord thingy doesn’t work? Yeah, think about that. I recently bought a temporary electric toothbrush. It has a little button to press for vibration. It doesn’t work. It’s defective. So think about that pull cord again, Stew.

Speaking of the dentist. Sure, you only consult the calendar when you have an appointment. Old people have to go to the dentist more. Their crowns break, their gums rot, the longer we are on this earth, the more we chew things and the more our teeth get busted up. That’s why you are going to the dentist, Stew, and why you have to consult your calendar.

Don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade here. But shit aging happens and saying you are 26 when you are really 62 just means you are dyslexic, not “young at heart”.

Here’s another good idea. Stew doesn’t think we should travel south. Don’t go to Florida. Everyone in Florida is old.

Stew also says:

My idea of a challenge is not seeing how few times I can hit a dimpled white ball for 18 holes. The only dimples I want to see should be resting on the pillow in bed next to me and making me feel … and act … 25.

This is probably not a good idea, Stew. This sounds like promiscuous behavior to me. Or, sounds like you have a thing for younger women. Very problematic. Or maybe when you say “dimples” you are referring to some other part of the anatomy? In that case, okay. But 25? Really? You taking some of that “Vigara” that keeps showing up in my spam folder?

(And as an aside here, if people are going to spam you with ads for drugs, wouldn’t it be prudent to spell what you’re selling correctly? Just wonderin’.)

So, I did a triple eye roll at Stew’s post. Stew, you need to consult your calendar. You were born back when stamps cost two cents. When your phone number had four digits. When the milkman left dairy products in glass bottles on your doorstep. When you got S&H green stamps at the grocery store. When people still said “gee whiz”. When jello was a food staple.

There’s nothing wrong with aging. I think we, as aging grownups, might be better off accepting our new limitations instead of trying to pretend otherwise. Nothing screams “old geezer” more than someone trying to pretend they are thirty years younger than they are.

Shibui, that’s what we need in this country. Respect your age. It’s what got you where you are.

21 thoughts on “Age is Just a Number (Sometimes a Big Number)

  1. Although I’m not delusional in thinking I’m younger than I am, I do see Stew’s point about feeling a different age on different days. Some days I feel young and spry and can do a tough workout like nobody’s business. Other days I feel like I’m a hundred years old, sludging through the mud. I guess I’ll know I’m in trouble when the latter surpasses the former in frequency… 😉

  2. Hi Lynn, I’m sure I’m the oldest one here. Ugh! Shudder, shudder. Normally I’m too busy to think about it. I certainly don’t think, look or act my age. However it is an inevitable part of life. According to genes, diet and life’s circumstances, some are luckier than others. One of my younger friends seems amazed by me. Why? Because I still sit cross-legged. LOL. She keeps telling everyone while I shake my head and smile. I’ve never sat any differently.
    Like Carrie says, some days feel better than others. But most are good.
    PS. Can I copy your Q/A from a recent blog fest – or whatever you call it – to my blog next week??? My email for reply is
    PPS In case I can’t find them, if you still have them, could you email them to me at the above address? Cheers!

  3. Lynn, so much of what you wrote made me laugh and resonates with me. And yet. It’s hard for me to think of myself as a 61 year old. I never thought much about my age until my 60th birthday . . . An age that sounded too old to possibly refer to me. It’s not that I feel 40 or 50, it’s just that I still fell like the same ageless me

  4. Hi Lynn,
    Now for wearing a mini, I am 63 and I am sometimes wearing a mini skirt, black leather to boot! I do it very decently, with black opaque pantyhose and a non revealing top, with flats or low heeled booties; nevertheless, I think I look like a youngish, classy older woman, so there. I believe in dressing like your character that includes dressing for comfort.
    I don’t have an age that I feel, and like others said, sometimes I feel better than other days, but certainly slowing down now, and feel the right to it. I enjoy my greater wisdom and the world view that comes with it. I can’t quite get used to seeing that mature woman looking back at me every morning. And I am happily living alone.
    I can’t recommend relocating to Florida, but for completely different reasons as expressed in my own blog post of this weekend.
    You make funny comments, as usual. keep up the entertainemnt.

    • That’s right. I need to check out your blog about Florida. I clicked on it and got the Page Not Found thingy. i will go back and try again. Age, I guess. I saw it and wanted to read it, then forgot about going back later. This outfit does sound nice, I think it can definitely work. I guess I was in a mood this morning, not unusual, and this stuff about the ageless baby boomer just didn’t sit too well. It’s kinda BS don’t you think?

  5. Loved this one! RE the parachute: always thought the only way I’d ever try that would be with at least 4 parachutes, in case one or more didn’t open, but then I probably wouldn’t get through the door of the plane, so opening of the chutes would be moot!!
    Some days I do feel older than when I was 30 or 40, but can only put a number on it when I try to get up from a kneeling position on the floor (while playing with my cat, who’s considerably more agile than I), and wait for the tingling in my legs and feet to subside so I can stand up all the way!!
    BTW, check your emails – waiting to hear about this year’s Adirondack mini-GTE!!

    • Sue, you are so good about your stretches and doing all the good things we should all be doing, you probably do feel younger. Hah! I am not so disciplined. I have good intentions, and before you know it the day is over and I haven’t done all the good-health things that I intended to do. Woe. So yeah, have been following the GTE emails and wondering what to do about it. Will write soon about all that.

  6. Lynn, I’ve never been sad about aging or even looking older. When I tell people I’m 60, I get these left-handed comments that I don’t look that old. And I’m thinkin’ “60’s not old you twerp!” I like the “over-the-hill” image despite the snarky intentions. We are cruising downhill now, I like to think about it like a ski slope, dodging moguls with creaky knees. I say wear a mini skirt if you have good legs, or those old Converse high tops, that have lasted as a brand. “Be all that you can be” is a good motto for anyone. Wish I could be at a party with you and Stew having a conversation about this.

    • Thanks for the comment, Brady. It’s the dreaded “You look good – for your age”. Thanks a lot for that! Ten years from now I’ll think I’m old then but ten years ago I wasn’t. So I guess the thing is to realize that while we are reaching the final third of our lives (assuming we live to be 100) we still have a lot of things left to do. I just don’t want to spend them pretending to be something I’m not, a thirty-something thrill seeker!

  7. Stew sounds like a dick.

    What I’ve noticed is how long it seems to take for things to heal now that I’m older. There’s another thing that I’ve noticed, but I can’t seem to remember what that is at the moment….

    • Hi Steve. Stew does sound a bit dickish to me too. Who wound him up anyway? If you remember what that other issue is, let me know, okay? But if you go skydiving, don’t forget to pull that rip cord thingy.

Comments gratefully accepted:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s