How Olga Screwed My Happiness

I received the following email from Olga. The subject line was “your profile to produce on me greater impression”. Naturally, I was curious.

hello lynn!

how are you today? What is your name?
my name is Olga, You frequently are on this site ?
I today wanted to talk to you in a chat
You have yahoo or hotmail ID? if you write to me, ok?
I shall wait from you the letter with impatience


Of course, I didn’t want to be rude. I answer all emails that are sent to me. Which is why I have no time for anything else. I get a lot of emails! And the more I respond, it seems the more I get. Funny how that works.

When you learn, teach. When you get, give. (Maya Angelou)

I responded to Olga as follows:

Hello there Olga!

I am fine today! Although yesterday I was lesser fine, today more so am I fine.

My name is Lynn, but you already must are knowing it since you say nice hello lynn!

In a chat today I am so liking to do!

I have ID for yahoo, hotmail no ID for me is having. Writing to you now, I will do it!

Not to wait with impatience as now I am sending the letter. With impatience I am also waiting for your nice reply. Hope soon it will come!


I waited (with impatience) for Olga’s reply. Olga must have a few email addresses because the second one was a little different. Yet, I am sure it is the same Olga, my new-found friend! This time the subject line was “Watsup bro”.

You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? See here The truth – pretty? 🙂 But in a life I more nice!!!
And as I cheerful, kind, sociable and fluffy! I like to go in for sports, read books, to listen to music. I love winter and summer. I do not love spring and slush.
If I have interested you, with pleasure I shall tell about myself more in the following letter.
I wait for the answer on


Ah, Olga. I can’t click links, much as I’d like to. I just can’t do it.

Dear Olga,

I am drawn with much pleasure to the acquaintances site, as already I know I very much like you.

Of course you are cheerful, kind, sociable but fluffy I am not sure I am liking, but will try harder! I at sports cannot do, I am sorry to say, as bones are aged and break easily, yet I watch with happiness. I like read books also and music also. When spring and slush I take you to South France for weeks in luxury hotel. I have much to give you!

Very deeply you have interested me, but please send picture personally as I am old and not trusting of links in emails. Sorry! My staff of servants tell me “Do not click on links” and believe them I must since they are well-paid by me and in my employ for twenty years more.

You have not address to me an endearment, of which I am feel very sorry when last time you said dear lynn.

With great fondness, Lynn

Olga returned my email that very day! I was so happy to get it, after we had struck up this nice friendship. Yet again, she had a different email address. This time is was

Dear lynn,

When hearing from you last time, I cannot believe my luck to have found such a friend.
Fluffy is meaning happy-to-lucky and filled with funny. No more than that!
In spring we go to South france? Can you send me for a ticket? I like to fly first class, do you?
See my picture here. Not sending links as you say you will not click.
Do you know Western Union? They are convenient, and are friends there. You can send money for ticket to me there?

Love to you, Olga

Wow! That happened fast. Olga wants to visit the South of France with me! This is the picture Olga attached.


Lost no time responding to Olga.


Western Union is not close with me. Please can you explain it? You to me in the photo will be as an angel who I see before sleeping and as soon on wake. Olga, I am very much liking your picture, and will we be together soon in France? I hope so.

Here is my picture and I am waiting for you to tell me what you think of it!! Please write soon as I wait with your impatience to receive hello from you!

With great love and affection, Lynn

 Here’s the picture I sent Olga:


The very next day I got another email from Olga:

You have very much interested me.
It will be pleasant for me if you want with me will get acquainted.
It will be very pleasant for me to find the friend or second half through the Internet.
We can exchange photos.
You can write to me the letter on this electronic address
I wait for your answer.

My name is Olga.

I do not think Olga and I to South France will go. I am not liking, and I must say to Olga: “Olga, if you are out there you are screwing my happiness!”

Olga image  courtesy of imagerymajestic at

Man on crutches image courtesy of stockimages at

24 thoughts on “How Olga Screwed My Happiness

  1. You are so bad! I can’t believe people fall for this stuff, and yet they do. I just saw something like that on Dr. Phil. People scammed out of so much money. Sad. But at least you found someone fluffy. 🙂

    • Thanks, Sharon. Actually Olga supplied much of the humor in this post. Three of these emails were cut/pasted and not altered (except for the links). I didn’t want anyone linking to romance scam sites from my blog!

  2. Only you, Lynn!! Laughed ’till I almost cried!! BTW, would rather have my half of the $48.5 mil in cash, if it’s not too much trouble! Don’t mind large bills – let me know when I can expect the package in the mail. USPS, UPS or FedEx??

  3. Who is this Yaroslav interloper? Are they suggesting a threesome? Thank you Lynn, for a hilarious post. I’m stuck in Barcelona, btw – all my passports and documents were stolen. Feel free to let me stay forever…

    • Jasmine, oh no, passports and documents stolen? Oh well, Barcelona is not such a bad place to be, or you can always find some nice guy to wire you some cash. For hilarious thank you for saying! I am like to be funny for the peoples.

  4. How about responding to the nice young men that put out these innocent sounding emails of admiration? Did you get any of those? I have a few among my emails, but am too scared to reply….
    I am surprised that you can stand butchering the English language as a writer. You must have had fund doing it anyway by the sounds of it.
    Very funny. I know a few male friends that fell for the Asian connection.

    • I didn’t have any from men, just women. Had to take what I could get. I mangle the language quite well, don’t you think? I have a real interest in romance scams right now. Not the online kind, but the in-person kind. I plan to write about it (someday) about a woman who is widowed, then falls for someone who is in it for more than the relationship. Not as bad as these jerks who do this online stuff. I would be very wary of answering any unless you are doing it as a joke. It’s called baiting.

  5. Snort. I might go to the south of France just to look for her. Though The Beloved doesn’t usually approve of my “whiplash” problem around attractive women… Somehow, I doubt she’ll be there.

    • Thanks, Marian. It’s something I’ve been working on (writing humor) for a while now. Some days it just isn’t there. Thanks to Olga for writing those emails and doing a number on the English language. To her, debts of gratitude, I am owing.

  6. Pingback: More Scam Spam Fun! | Lynn Schneider Books

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