Entertainment Pie

Like UnlikeA couple of pieces of Entertainment Pie. From opposite sides of the world, and opposite sides of the enjoyment-meter, experienced on the same day.

First, Life of Pi, which was a beautiful movie. The story of a young boy and Richard Parker, the full-grown Bengal tiger, who was first his adversary, then his friend. Pi said, if it hadn’t been for Richard Parker, he would have died on that little boat, but the conflict between them kept him alive. It was a movie that I wasn’t excited about seeing, yet I knew I would be wrong about it and end up loving it. Other movies hold more “curb appeal”, that is they look good from the outside, but this one was great all through. I usually think 3D is cheesy, but it worked for me this time.

Then back home for Super Bowl XMVII. Ah, yes. Glitzy entertainment at its very best. First of all, I care not one iota about either of the teams, except that I dislike the Ravens because of Ray Lewis and because of what Art Model did to the Browns fans. Not that I’m a Browns fan either, but I know lots of them, and what he did was further proof that it’s all about the money. Sure, I know, it’s a business like any other, but there a few million Brownie fans who don’t agree.

A few things I noticed:

First of all, before the game, there is clear evidence among the players of TMT (Too Much Testosterone). Yet, when Alicia Keyes does her (and it wasn’t too bad, notwithstanding the little warbly thing at the end) rendition of the National Anthem, the tears fall through their under-eye black smudgy things.

The Ravens looked like they were wearing skinny jeans and the 49ers looked like a high school football team clad in red and gold.

The commercials have gotten so out-there-somewhere you don’t even know what they are selling.

A huge percentage of players have those cheesy, blotchy blue tatts. Yesterday, before the movie, I sat next to a tattoo “perfess’nal” and he had tattoo sleeves of lovely hues of red, green, blue outlined with black. Is there some unwritten rule that colored tatts are somehow wussy and unless you get them done by your best friend who got his equipment mail order and gets you all liquored up so he can shoot some meaningless blue ink into your pigments, y’all aren’t a real manly man? I don’t get that. Those football players are well-paid enough that they can afford the very best in body-defacement, so why don’t they ever have it?

If I had heard “Jim Harbaugh can’t believe it” once more, I’d not be here today. I was about to hurl myself off a six-story balcony.

On to Beyonce. I guess she felt she needed to prove herself after the Inauguration lip-sinking scandal. I personally am not terribly into her, but also know that I am probably in the minority. I was sure impressed with her flexibility and the fact that she can gracefully rise to her feet after settling into a sitting position with her legs wrapped around each other Yoga-style. She is quite, uh, lively, clad in relatively little, very windblown, and the flaming guitars were a nice touch.

Made me nostalgic for Tom Petty.

The gross lip-smacking kissing commercial between The Beauty and The Nerd was disgusting. Again, what was that selling?

The two Chrysler ads, designed to put a tear in your eye as solidly as a Hallmark commercial, felt a bit contrived to me. Especially So God Made a Farmer, a tribute by Paul Harvey to the American farmer. Who knows if he’d have wanted his words used this way?

The eTrade baby was just so-so, not the best. The cute baby thing may have outrun itself.

The blackout brought back memories of the Ben Affleck movie, the Sum of All Fears where the bad guys rig the coke machine with a nuclear bomb. Maybe N’Awlins isn’t quite ready to host this thing? The announcers were sweating, trying to keep up a lively patter during thirty-some minutes of darkness. They were continually “bringing us up to speed” with reruns and pictures of Evil Ray — his last game ever, you know. “The power is slowly returning” they’d say. Slowly returning? It’s either there or it’s not, I’d have thought.  “The power continues to ramp up.” Oh. Good. “More and more banks of lights!” and, heh, heh, “Beyonce must have knocked out the lights!” and “The stadium seems to be getting brighter and brighter!”

Speaking of announcers. Oh the pearls that fall from their lips. Love football-speak.

If they’d have played man-to-man coverage, this’d never have happened.

You need to be super conservative with the football.

Stop the butter coming up the middle.

San Francisco is going to have to come up with some turnovers. (This said at a time SF was down 28 to 6 – ya think?)

Someone didn’t send a check in the mail.

They are professional athletes.

They know how to stop and restart.

When you’re down 28 to 6, you have to go force the issue a little bit.

The 49ers need to stay patient. (It’s still 28 to 6.)

They need the big class play down the field.

You take away that interception, he’s really throwing the football.

Since the power outage, things have changed.

The fair-catch, free-kick rule. (Say what?)

Image courtesy of basketman at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 thoughts on “Entertainment Pie

  1. I was probably the only person in America who didn’t watch the Superbowl. Just not into football, which, according to my husband, is my worst fault. I can live with that. I watched The Americans which I had previously recorded. Loved it. But I enjoyed reading your take on the game and the ads. Made me smile. 🙂

    I didn’t see Life of Pi, because I didn’t like the book. Just wasn’t my cup of tea. Of course, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like the movie. A renter, perhaps.

    • I’m not really into football either. Just seemed like the thing to do. Always glad though, no more of it until at least August when the Buckeye blather starts up again. How tiresome. I liked Life of Pi, nice movie. But I didn’t read the book.

  2. Now my fanatical football loving husband is no longer here, I don’t watch football. My first big date with him ; He flew us down to Seattle from Anchorage to watch a Washington Huskies end-of-season game. It was cold and sprinkling rain. Our seats were WAY up high in an open stand and I am scared of heights. I almost crawled up the STEEP stairs to sit in the clouds (exaggerating, of course).

    • To be honest, if I had my choice, I’d never watch it either. Such are the compromises we make. Luckily, I do not have one of those ESPN-watching husbands, but still, not to watch the Super Bowl is pretty much out of the question.

  3. I managed to almost totally avoid the Superbowl (sorry it is too much stop and start, emphasis on the stop, for me. I’m a Brit, I like real football). Sadly I also missed Beyonce. Not into her music but I am kind of interested in how different artists approach the half time show.

    Haven’t seen Life of Pi either, but I did enjoy the book.

    • It really is a lot of stop and start. And this year especially due to the blackout which lasted for 35 minutes or so while the harried announcers tried to keep the audience entertained. Well, guess what. We weren’t, we were just bored. And maybe it’s my age group, but missing Beyonce is not a thing to necessarily worry about.

  4. I was trying to remember if Garth Brooks did that with his thighs when he did the halftime show. And we’ve talked at home about the Ravens in their black pants. I’ve always heard that black is slimming, but it makes most of them look like they’re running around with pencils for legs.

    • Hah! Garth Brooks and Beyonce. Probably appealing to a different spectrum of folks. Yes, black is slimming I first typed “sliming” – that too) but they did look rather odd, I thought.

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